Blog | Radiant Balance | personal and cultural transformation as a catalyst for planetary healing

The Return of Spirit

Posted on April 6, 2014 by Jo delAmor

Stop what you’re doing just for a moment and see if you can feel your breath moving in and out of your body…if you can feel your heart beating in your chest.

Can you feel the LIFEforce in you?

The energy that keeps all your bodily systems running. This lifeforce is more than a biological function and it doesn’t just run your body…it runs through everything…everything that exists and all the space in between is charged and infused by this same lifeforce energy (even the things we don’t consider to be “alive”).

lifeforce

It’s everything…

Apache elder, Grandfather Stalking Wolf, refers to this energy as the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things. The Aborigines of Australia call it Divine Oneness. The Lakota call it Wakan Tanka, which translates to “The Big Sacred.”

In his new book, The Light Inside, my dear friend and spiritual brother, C.S. Drury, reminds us that… “If we just walk outside and look up at the stars, across a desert canyon, at a blade of grass, we can easily become enthralled by the wonders of life here on Earth. And if we look closely enough we can see that Spirit lives inside all of it, just as it lives inside all of us.”

This Spirit cannot be captured by words and names. It defies all logic and transcends all definitions. Although it is the source and inspiration of countless forms of spiritual devotion throughout history, it is much bigger and wider and deeper than any religion or set of spiritual practices.

It is grander and more magical than the greatest miracles performed by saints and prophets…and, despite the claims of certain religious institutions…it runs free through ALL of existence. Access to it requires no special key, no particular heritage, no fancy training. Each and every one of us has full access to it…through the magical portals of our very own awareness.

Bow Down…

Connecting with and receiving guidance from this great and powerful spiritual force is as simple as relaxing…fully…into the reality of your present moment. It’s as easy as giving up the struggle and strain…putting down the baggage of your worry and posturing…and surrendering to ‘what is’ with genuine awe. It’s about witnessing the breath in your lungs, the sun filtering through the clouds, the traffic jam in front of you, the complexity of life in the modern world with a sense of wonder. In fact, even the most elaborate of spiritual practices and religious rituals are designed to do just that…to deliver you to a state of awe and wonder.

But true spiritual connection is not about strategy. It does not actually require specific rituals. All it takes is HUMILITY.

As we bow down to the sheer miracle of life we put ourselves in the position to receive. From this place of honor and reverence we are able to witness the perfection of the BiG picture unfolding, listen for and hear the guidance being offered to us and understand how we can contribute to the wellbeing of the Whole.

We are being called back…

The modern techno-culture we’ve been raised by prides itself on being secular. Science and technology have been elevated to the ranks of undeniable truth while spirituality and religion have been relegated almost to the level of quaint family hobbies, at best. Spiritual interests are often seen as old-fashioned, superstitious, quirky or close-minded. In the mainstream of our culture it’s not “cool” to be spiritual…it’s not sophisticated…it’s not what educated people do.

“A commitment to forming a relationship with Spirit is regarded as a distraction at best and dangerous or evil at worst.”

– C.S. Drury The Light Inside

I see this as a great cultural loss…something that we have been deprived of by our culture. We have been raised without a true awareness and knowledge of the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things. In fact, we’ve been trained to ignore it.

We are part of an incredibly dynamic, living, breathing, moving, growing body of conscious Spirit that is constantly communicating. But, over thousands of years of cultural conditioning, we have convinced ourselves and each other that we are separate from it and superior to it. Even after perpetuating this lie for countless generations the truth is still the truth.

Spirit never left. We are still deeply woven into the tapestry of life. All we’ve done by claiming this separation is to shut down our ability to perceive this truth and, therefore, cut off our power to connect and collaborate with this omnipotent lifeforce energy. The return of Spirit is really about the return of our awareness that there is a profound spiritual power moving through all of existence and that we can interact with it, contribute to its wellbeing and receive support and guidance from it.

“One of the most devastating consequences of our culture’s story is that it has resulted in a loss of belief in our most important and vital support network, that which we find through the world of Spirit.”

– C.S. Drury The Light Inside

This disconnection renders us powerless and sets us up to be victims of seemingly random and meaningless circumstance. It also causes us to be not only useless, but seriously destructive within the great circle of life.

Without the awareness of our interconnectedness with the rest of creation we’re like a bunch of blindfolded buffoons stumbling through a gallery of exquisite blown glass art.

landfill

Without humanity’s active and responsible cooperation with the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things all of creation suffers. The circle of life can only truly thrive when all the players are willingly involved. The damage caused by our illusion of separateness has become so serious in recent decades that the very life support system we all rely on is falling apart right in front of our eyes.

The signs and symptoms have become undeniable…the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things is calling us out of our stupor. We are being called back to attention…we are being beckoned to reconnect with the circle of life…and to once again revere the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things…to humble ourselves to it and learn how to perceive it and honor it and contribute to its wellbeing.

Way back in the 1960s, Grandfather Stalking Wolf warned his young student Tom Brown Jr. that if we reached certain thresholds of damage in the physical world that we would have to wake up to our sacred responsibility to participate in healing on a spiritual level. He said…

“The Earth can no longer be healed on a physical level. Only a spiritual healing can change the course of the probable futures of mankind.”

Reclaiming our Sacred Responsibility

At a recent Hindu fire ceremony to honor the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things I was listening to the guidance of the facilitator as he oriented the newcomers to this practice. He was instructing us to make offerings into the fire while saying the word “Swaha,” which means “I offer.” This is one of the many ways to practice humility and surrender to the Divine.

He said, “Say Swaha like your life depends on it…because it does.”

This ritual was given to the people tens of thousands of years ago to guide us in participating with the circle of life and help us bow in humility and reverence to the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things. It is said that this is the fire that brings the rain, that grows the grain…and the smoke that purifies our bodies, minds and spirits.

fire ceremony

When he told us to say “Swaha” like our lives depend on it I realized that they, in fact, do depend on this genuine connection and humility. It is true now more than it ever has been. Our lives depend on it. Of course, we need the physical sustenance of quenching rain and nourishing grain…but, as I explained to my 11 year old daughter, these are also metaphorical.

The fire is the devotion, the ritual, the offering of our passions and our attention…that brings the rain of spiritual support, the reciprocation from the spirit world that nourishes the land and all of creation to produce sustenance for our lives, like the grains and all of the rest of this abundant world.

Hindus are not the only ones who believe that our prayers and rituals and requests to the spirit world are necessary to support our physical world. All of the ancient cultures that I’m aware of share a similar belief that the active involvement, ritual and prayer of humans helps to sustain balance and wellbeing in the world…that, in fact, that is our role to play in creation…our sacred responsibility.

Similar beliefs and practices among the Dagara, Aborgines, Shipibo, Shona, Lakota, Kogi, etc. express that we’re meant to continually sing and dance and pray the world alive. That that is the reason we’ve been given this creativity and consciousness that is so distinct from the rest of the animal kingdom. And that when we use our consciousness (or intellect) instead to further our own development and comfort at the expense of the web of life we are actually turning our back on our most sacred responsibility and creating massive imbalance and destruction.

During this time of breakdown and breakthrough in our world it is essential that we wake up to our interconnection with all of existence and offer ourselves to the mending of that which has been broken.

Although there are many rituals and practices that can help us “get there” all we need to do is humble ourselves to the Divine with genuine awe and wonder and realize that we are already there…held within the great circle of life…nourished by the Spirit-that-moves-in-all-things…ready and willing to be of service.

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Earth Honoring, Spiritual Connection, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Need for Necessity

Posted on March 26, 2014 by Jo delAmor

The people of the Arctic learn to make cozy and perfectly waterproof boots out of sealskin because they NEED them. The people of the Amazon learn to make medicines out of the plants to cure disease and clear away parasites because they NEED to. And people all over the world have learned to gather in tribes and villages to share the workload of survival and form lasting loving bonds because that’s what humans NEED.

nativealaskans

Necessity is not only the mother of invention…it’s also the mother of Culture.

The staggering diversity and uniqueness of the cultures of this world is far from arbitrary or random. Each culture developed in close relation to the land of its origin and in direct response to the specific NEEDs of the people.

This need-based cultural development is true for pre-industrial cultures that had to meet most of their needs directly from their local natural bioregion, with minimal trading as a supplement. Manufactured clothing and food and building materials couldn’t be ordered and shipped in from distant lands on freight trains and planes and trucks.

Historically, this meant that the culture of a people was deeply tied to and integrated with the land they lived with. This type of intimacy between the people and the land allows for an ongoing communication that shows the people exactly what the land needs from them in order to sustain a healthy balance. In system’s theory this is called the feedback loop and is an essential part of creating sustainability and longevity (the markers of true success) in any system.

Enter Stage Left: Empire and Industry

But all that sustainability and longevity goes out the window when a conquering empire hits the scene because the primary objective of imperial conquests is CONTROL…not sustainability.

In order to take control of a people, the dominators have to intentionally break the feedback loop between the conquered people and their land.

nativeamericanboardingschool

The pre-industrial imperialism of the old world depended on outlawing ancient practices such as dance and ritual, replacing traditional ways of planting or counting time with new systems and calendars, taking children away from their families and training them in boarding schools to speak the new language and respect the new laws and orders and executing the people most skilled and powerful in the ways of the old culture, often declaring that they were witches or some other shameful thing.

These were the tactics used against the Earth-based cultures of Europe by the Romans and then again by the Christians. These tactics were also used in the European conquests of the peoples of Africa and India as well as in the European domination of the many tribal cultures in both North America and South America.

But this form of imperialism could only do so much damage…because the land still led. Even the dominating culture would have to learn to adapt to their new environment. Often they would have to incorporate at least some of the wisdom of the native culture and yield to the land in some ways in order to survive in their new territory.

All this has changed with the Industrial Revolution, the rapid advancement of technology we’ve seen in the last 200 years and the imposing force of capitalism. With the ability to pave over every surface and annihilate any obstacle modern imperialism has taken on a new and infinitely more destructive form.

Now, the consumerist monoculture of the Industrial Growth Society is being sold and exported to every corner of the globe with disturbing uniformity.

McDonald’s is now serving the same hamburgers in over 33,000 outlets in 121 different countries around the world. The same fuel sources and building materials are being shipped in to create the same kind of towns and neighborhoods in countries all across the planet. And people all over the world aspire to living the “good life” as defined by the images of wealth and disconnection they see in the mass media.

cellphoneindia

It blows my mind that 40% of the total world population is now using the Internet and that {get this…} out of the world’s 7 billion people, 6 billion have access to cell phones!!!! Just think about how effective this must be in getting people to ignore the natural world. It’s also telling to discover that the US military is currently deployed in more than 150 countries around the world.

This pre-packaged culture is systematically and forcibly extinguishing all remnants of previous earth-connected cultures. Wherever it goes it willfully ignores the needs of the local people and the conditions of the land it’s being introduced into.

As the diverse cultural heritages that evolved in intimate response to the unique bioregions across the globe are replaced by the imported dominator culture, the essential feedback loop breaks down, ecological imbalance ensues and toxic seeds are planted for global system collapse.

Getting Back to Needs

For better or worse, through the process of globalization, we’ve been turned into one big human village with some very new, very serious and totally unprecedented NEEDs.

Most of us here in the “developed world” have our basic needs of food, shelter, clothing and safety provided for with relative ease within this industrial culture…but they come at a great cost. While we’re able to drive to work each day and buy food at the store and kick back in our climate controlled houses the very source of life is being choked out…and we can’t even hear it.

Tar Pit #3

The distance we’re kept from the cries of suffering and the mess of environmental degradation is actually a key component to keeping it all running smoothly. Our connection with the source of life, with the land and with our own inner guidance was intentionally severed generations ago to render us subservient to the dominating culture. And our continued disconnection is what it all hinges upon.

But now, as we face our collective NEED for a culture that can sustain life, it’s time to reestablish that connection and the essential feedback loop that tells us when we’ve gone too far and what we need to adjust to restore balance.

In simple terms…it’s time to LISTEN to the Earth and follow her lead.

Listening to the Earth may sound mystical or mysterious because it has become such a foreign concept to us modern folks. But it’s actually quite simple…and you don’t even have to stray too far from your analytical modern mind. When we step back for a moment from our busy daily lives and look around, the effects of modern industrialism are clear.

All life on planet Earth requires clean water and air. All life depends on the integrity of genetic code. These most basic components are being despoiled almost beyond repair by modern industry through fossil fuel usage, chemical pollution, genetic modification and nuclear waste.

In the context of these truths “listening to the Earth” is not new age jargon and it’s not a flaky hippie fantasy…it is a necessary evolution.

It’s the imperative action to which the human race is being called out. All of us together…We’re being called to attention…to stop ourselves in our tracks and open our hearts to hear the NEEDs that are being expressed by the state of the world.

Der Weg der guten Menschen: Wandern auf den Spuren der Katharer

As we get real with our mutual and collective NEEDs we can gather all of our accumulated wisdom…all of our understanding…all of our inspiration to take the next great leap in our expression on this planet by co-creating a culture in response to those needs…a culture that can sustain LIFE.

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Earth Honoring, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

OUTing our Cultural Assumptions

Posted on March 8, 2014 by Jo delAmor

Culture is something we take for granted…it’s the water we swim in…the paradigm of reality that we can hardly even see because it’s all we know. It’s what we’re born into…the worldview and reality that get passed down from generation to generation.

It’s actually a bundle of assumptions about the world…a collection of ideas, expectations, practices and behaviors that are commonly held so deeply by members of a shared society that they appear to be universal (even though they’re actually culturally specific). These unquestioned principles determine how we view the world…and, therefore, how we behave in it.

ass

You know what they say about ASSumptions…

Following cultural norms and allowing cultural assumptions to lead our way isn’t necessarily a bad idea. In fact, for most of our human history that’s what people have done…they learn their customs and traditions, mimic their elders and mature within the context of the culture they were born into.

But, for better or worse, those of us who have been born into a westernized industrial society don’t have this luxury…because **the culture that we’ve been born into is curating its own destruction while it devastates every other culture, species and ecosystem on the planet.**

This situation has escalated to such a level that, despite our cultural conditioning, many of us can no longer ignore it. We’re beginning to realize that letting these predominant cultural assumptions lead our way is signing a death sentence, not only for ourselves but for extended web of life, as well.

This time of global crisis is being accompanied by a significant uprising in personal empowerment and human consciousness. And that means…in this rare and precious moment…we actually have a choice about whether or not we’ll follow suit with our culture. Nothing is certain anymore…everything is up for review.

But, as we reexamine our relationship with the predominant culture, the first challenge we’ll face is in getting a clear view on it…gaining enough perspective on our collective situation and enough understanding of our cultural assumptions to avoid winding up just running in circles and feeding the same old machine in a different way.

Getting a clear view…

The deeply imbedded cultural bias we each carry makes it almost impossible to see our own culture with clarity. Usually, when we think about culture, we look for the differences. We can only point to evidence of some other culture by noticing unfamiliar crafts, clothing, art and housing or the foreign language, customs, style and etiquette that are used. It’s in the comparing and contrasting of distinctly different cultures that we’re even able to notice the nuances and consider the cultural assumptions that may guide them.

But, as cultural homogeny spreads across the globe and the distinction between cultures fades away this is becoming ever more difficult.

And herein lies the clue. Our culture…the one in question…is the one that’s sweeping its way across the globe. It’s the one that has been packaged and marketed and sold to people in almost every country on the planet, displacing centuries of tradition with factory produced uniformity.

Despite our ethnic and ancestral differences we’ve all become part of this conquering culture now.

It is the industrial growth society, as Joanna Macy coined it…the society and culture held up by an industrially based economy of continual growth…the one that requires exploiting the Earth to acquire “natural resources” and relies on an industrially produced food supply…the one that conditions its members to depend on industrial products for almost all their daily activities, from clothing and communications to recreational gear and cleaning products, from building materials and transportation…it all comes from a factory.

EXIF_JPEG_T422

It is also the nation state culture…the one that recognizes modern national borders, constitutions and laws established by colonization and imperialism…the one that honors hierarchy of power and the “right” to rule won through conquest and war…the one that is guided by agreements and treaties made by heads of state within international organizations such as the UN, the WTO and the WHO.

And, of course, it is the technology culture…the one fed by mass media and connected through the World Wide Web. We know we’re part of it simply because we’re reading this article online.

We may take all these things for granted as “just the way things are”…as universal inevitable realities…but, whether we see them as useful or harmful, it’s essential for us to realize that these infrastructures and systems are in place only because of our collective culturally specific assumptions.

So, what are these cultural assumptions that it all rides on?

Well, that’s a big question…one bigger than I could attempt to answer on my own or do justice to in a little online article…it’s a question for our collective ongoing exploration and conversation…a question that we dove into on a recent Earth Tribe Council Call and that we can continue to explore in the comments below.

As we open our minds to discover the assumptions that guide our culture we’ll have to be like detectives…finding evidence and clues that characterize our culture…then tracing them back to the root beliefs.

roots

Along the way, we may discover that we don’t personally agree with some (or many) of the assumptions that lay the groundwork for our culture. We may not want to associate ourselves with these beliefs. But recognizing and owning the cultural conditioning that we’ve received is the first step in gaining the clarity necessary to transform it.

Some of the underlying cultural assumptions that come to mind for me are…

success is measured in other people’s opinions, how much money you have, what you look like and what you own…
everyone has to work for a living and prove their worth…
there’s not enough for everyone to thrive…
we exist within a hierarchy of value, meaning that some things/people are more important than others…
our prosperity is dependent on exponential continual industrial growth…
humanity is the pinnacle result of evolution and has dominion over the Earth…
the Earth is made of resources for our use…

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Hopefully it gets your gears turning. I invite you to let this question unfold in your mind and walk with you through your days. Observe this culture we live in and begin to investigate our shared cultural assumptions for yourself. Then contribute to the comments below to share your thoughts and curiosities.

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

What’s it gonna take?

Posted on March 3, 2014 by Jo delAmor

When the newsfeed and broadcasts get flooded with images and stories of violence, oppression, injustice and pollution…do you ever think to yourself… “What’s it gonna take?”

What’s it gonna take for us to change our ways? To realize, once and for all, that this culture of disconnection and disrespect is a dead end street…to wake up to the fact that we are running out of time and space and resources and grace for this blatantly brutal way of life…to not only realize these truths but to allow them to change our collective course of action.

whatsitgonnatake

I see momentary flare ups of outrage, compassion, inspiration and despair filtering through our posts and comments. Our emotions stirred by a sickness that feels too big to heal. Some of us would rather ignore it…some joke about drinking it away…having our kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames…some of us scramble to fill out all the different petitions and stay informed about all of the issues…and some of us send our prayers for healing into the vastness. But the thread running through it all is this listless sense of hopelessness and disconnection.

A sinking feeling inside of powerlessness. A feeling that the system is just too big and has too much momentum…that it’s got us by the balls. It’s had us since the day we were born, taken away from our mamas in sterile hospitals, put into plastic boxes, preventing the natural nurturing that our DNA expected and severing our bond with the natural world…It’s got us in our wallets, in our government, on our dinner plates, in our schedules, in our children’s schooling…it’s even got us in our own minds and bodies as we wrestle with addiction, doubt, fear and anxiety. It’s enough to make us just wanna give in and give up. But…

Genuine change is being called for. And WE are the ones being called.

It’s true…you and me…those of us who are blessed with the wherewithal and freedom to even reflect on this situation…those of us who have the emotional capacity to feel the outrage and grief…those of us who can see right through the lies…those of us who are smart enough and curious enough to dig down to the roots of this culture madness…those of us who are creative enough to reweave a new culture through our personal thoughts, actions and deeds…to start with ourselves and our families and establish innovative and positive new ways of being in the world.

It’s time for us to flip the script on this whole story and rewrite it from beginning to end. It’s time to unplug from the circuits of destruction and root into the cycle of regeneration. It’s time to turn away from violence and cruelty and cultivate peace. It’s time to reconnect with our true wild natural selves and give them permission to reach for the light of the sun. It’s time to stop waiting for permission and liberation to be handed down by big government and instead grant ourselves the freedom that we (and our ancestors) have so long been fighting for.

thrive plant seedlings DSC4345

What it’s going to take is a radical transformation of our culture…from the inside out.

And that means it has to start with US. There’s no way around it. All the wisdom of our elders, from the native prophesies to the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi show us that this change has to start from within. That we need to be the change we wish to see in the world. That only through our own deeds and actions will we be able to make the world green again. That we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

If we want to see justice, freedom and ecological sanity in our world we’ll have to pour our hearts and hands into co-creating a culture that actually supports these values. We’ll have to renounce that old story of hopelessness and reclaim our personal and collective power. We’ll have to untangle the dysfunctional patterns, beliefs and behaviors that define this version of culture and take personal responsibility for what we choose and create with our words and actions, in our relationships and purchases, with our time and inspiration. And, most importantly, we’ll have to come together in mutual support as a human family.

Coming together to weave a new web…

When push comes to shove, evolutionarily speaking, cooperation and ingenuity always win out over competition and preserving the status quo. The organisms that survive are the ones who learn to adapt to the changing circumstances and cooperate with their fellow organisms. As we rapidly approach the brick wall of total systems collapse I feel this primal yearning inside of me screaming out to connect…to collaborate…to share and learn from each other…to get creative and explore our capacity for change and come together in a web of mutual support.

We have many things to unlearn and relearn…many wounds to heal and patterns to retool… many systems to recreate and habits to outgrow. As we help each other examine and transform the many threads of our cultural reality we can reweave the web of a new culture together. Empowering each other through connection will create a groundswell of transformation that can merge with all of the other life-loving grassroots movements that are arising across the globe at this time of great change.

In order for this transformation to effectively serve the highest wellbeing of all, it has to start way down at the taproot of our personal experience and grow, holistically and comprehensively, through all the branches of our collective reality.

I certainly don’t have all the answers and I don’t imagine anyone else does either but…I trust that we’ll find our way together as we collectively dive into this powerful, living exploration.

Join in on the conversation that will transform our culture from the inside out at…

EarthTribe rEvolution.

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Earth Honoring, Personal Transformation, Relating with Others, Spiritual Connection, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Becoming Whole

Posted on February 5, 2014 by Jo delAmor

Two years ago the dentist told me my tooth was dead. It turns out that teeth are living beings and, just like people, they can die. And, just like people, when they go they leave a big gaping hole where they once lived.

This is a story of healing and transformation of release and surrender. This is a story of fear and despair outshined by courage and the will to live.

Choosing to remove the long and beautiful incisor tooth that had been with me most of my life felt like a big decision. But, like putting down a beloved pet or taking a loved one off of life support, it was one of those tough decisions that isn’t a decision at all but really more just a matter of timing. And it took me awhile to saddle up to it.

Over the two years that followed this pronouncement of death I had a lot to learn, feel into, discover about myself and let go of before I was able to release the tooth itself. Who knew a tooth could hold such mysteries?

I knew something had to be done about this dead tooth that was slowing leaking infection into my otherwise healthy body but I just didn’t like any of the options the dentist offered. I didn’t want to give up on this tooth that easily. I wasn’t ready to have it taken away and, in alignment with the natural values and practices I live my life by, I felt there must be a way to revitalize it naturally. **If it could be done, I would do it!**

So I started out on a journey that I thought was about proving that natural medicine can cure even the seemingly uncurable. It’s funny how life works…we think we know what we’re doing while, in fact, we’re doing something so much more important. This journey led me a different healing path entirely and it was exactly where I needed to go.

My first stop on the journey was to the office of a magical natural healer with gazillions of tricks up her sleeve and deeply powerful intuition. By tuning into my tooth and unfolding my story through a series of questions she revealed an energetic pattern that had its roots in the foundational trauma of my childhood.

In the Summer of my 9^th year I experienced a loss that shocked my soul and shattered my heart. My oldest sister and the hero of my life died instantly when she crashed her car into a tree. In that moment my little girl consciousness scrambled to make sense of this outrageous truth. A complex mess of protective mechanisms and coping strategies were set in motion without my awareness. Ever since that moment I have been studying the fallout from this trauma and untangling the patterns it created.

After 25 years of deep inquiry, personal growth work and the profound healing I’d experienced I thought I had covered it all. When I came in asking for holistic methods to bring my tooth back to life I really didn’t think it was going to go back to that same old story. I was almost annoyed…but I’ve learned to accept each new layer of the onion, because they always teach me what I need to know.

When my sister died a huge part of my spirit receded into the shadows of my being. The vulnerable squishy tender hopeful optimistic playful loving part of me went into hiding and a hard shell formed around my fragile heart. Part of that shell was a personality double that fronted for me and kept everyone else at bay. She wasn’t necessarily happy but she had some fun and minded her p’s and q’s enough to stay out of trouble and off the radar. She aced her tests and answered all the questions just right to keep the grownups satisfied.

In an effort to protect myself I withdrew from the fullness of life.

highschool

I no longer sunk my teeth into life. I no longer cared what happened. I no longer believed that the future held magical goodness. I became cynical and scared. I was afraid to grow up. Afraid to trust. Afraid to hope. Afraid to succeed. Afraid to shine. Afraid to connect deeply with others. Afraid to ask for help and receive it. Afraid to love. The belief that I took on in those tender years was that “if it got too good, it would get taken away.”

As I journeyed into adulthood I always struggled with these disparate parts of myself. I wanted to hope. But I was scared to. I wanted to dream BiG. But I didn’t believe it would work out. I loved the brilliance of the human spirit and creativity and I hated humanity for what we’ve done to the planet. I was often inspired by the chance to be alive at this time of great change and then scared shitless by it. I yearned for connection, depth, honesty, engagement with the REALness of life, but I subconsciously held it all at arms length to stay safe. I played out the control freak and the emotional tyrant patterns in my relationships to fend off true intimacy. The “I can do it myself” attitude that helped me survive those early years after the death when all of the adults in my life were decimated in their own grief wound up keeping me from being able to ask for and receive help from others.

As I faced down this dead tooth all of these old patterns were exposed for the sabotage mechanisms that they were. I was trying to keep it all together…all by myself…paying the rent, improving my business, staying healthy despite the low grade infection I was running, being a fun mom and providing all the good things I think my daughter needs, being an active community member, staying sane (enough) to manage day by day…all while trying to bring a tooth back from the dead. It was all fueled by fear…and none of it was working. Over these past two years my whole house of cards has fallen down and I have been left with my greatest fears rearing their ugly heads.

I lost. I lost the game of keeping it all together. I lost the game of “I can do it all by myself.” I lost my financial security. And I lost my tooth.

As the infection got worse and I could no longer control it with herbs and natural self care I had to humble up and release. I had to soften my attachment to the outcome. I had to ask for guidance and help in so many ways. And, to my great delight, it was right there waiting for me after all these years…

My mother stepped in to pay the dentist bill. My dear friend and midwife drove me to my appointment, making sure I was well nourished with food and tea and melodies. My sister took care of my daughter while I was away and then my daughter took care of me when I got back. My lover held me close and counseled me through the emotional release of letting go of all these years of holding on. And…he thinks I’m beautiful even with my toothless smile! (thank the Goddess)

In losing this tooth I have become whole again.

As I prepared for the tooth extraction I realized that it was gathering all these old stories and patterns…that the tooth was actually collecting all of those protective mechanisms, all those ways that I kept myself from living in my full authenticity, all those fears that kept me locked up so that they could be released.

I used the Heart Sutra Mantra while the dentist was removing all of this from my being in the form of an old dead tooth.

“GATE GATE PARA GATE PARASAM GATE BODHI SVAHA!”

Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it.

And as I planted the tooth in the ground in sacred ritual with song and mantra that tender part of myself that had been hiding away all these years was being called to rejoin the wholeness of my being.

photo 1 (1)

Now, 27 years after my sister’s death (which I just realized is the Saturn return of that trauma, btw) it’s time for me to release that old identity and be reborn into the next version of myself.

Now I’m fully HERE…grateful to be ALIVE…excited to grow up and grow old, willing to love and play…living outloud, raw and vulnerable…believing in miracles and the Divine benevolence that runs through all things…relaxing into my fullness of being…investing my heart and soul into it all and saying YES to my heart’s longings…letting myself fall and falter in plain view…getting messy and making mistakes…not knowing the answers and still willing to try…wearing my heart on my sleeve and letting you all know that i LOVE you! i LOVE this earth! i LOVE humanity…and, even though it’s scary and confusing to admit that we don’t know the solutions to the problems we’re facing as a human family and a global ecosystem, I believe that WE are the ones who can figure them out together and make the world healthy and whole again with our healing!

Thank you for reading and for being on this healing journey of LIFE with me!!

Here’s a little musical treat for you all to go with this story….Buried in Teeth by Mariee Sioux

Posted in Personal Transformation, Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Holiness

Posted on February 3, 2014 by Jo delAmor

I had this idea of wholeness

Like I was supposed to keep it all together

Like I was supposed to figure it all out and fix it…

To hold on to all of it

That there was shame in losing any part of myself

But life and healing demand release…

The letting go and loosening of old stories and beliefs that bind us to illness

Sometimes I know just when to surrender

Opening like a flower

Responding like a dancer to the rhythm of growth

And sometimes I clutch and sputter

Clinging and grasping to the old even while I cry out for relief from it

It’s these releases that shake me to my roots

Humble me and remind me that wholeness is an illusion

That healing is messy and requires crumbling…

Falling to pieces and reassembling myself over and over

Sacrificing the pieces and parts of myself that embody the old scripts of disease

And that through this gifting…wholeness gives way to holiness.

Posted in Personal Transformation, Poetry and Art, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hush Hush…

Posted on December 20, 2013 by Jo delAmor

Hush hush quiet now…

we are leaving the rush of things to get done

and missions to accomplish…

Journeying deep into the white woods,

covered in crystalized snow.

Crunching beneath feet and huffing of breath

the only sounds now

as thin streams of sunlight

dance on the glossy surface

of what was once a playfully dancing mountain creek.

Artfully curled layers of ice hint at the movement

that was halted by the cold touch of Mother Winter…

as tender bubbles of air beg for release beneath the freeze.

I pause, strained from the long walk through deep snow,

feeling the weight and the slowness

of these short cold days in my body…

the blood thick in my veins…

each cell and muscle longing to retreat into the deep

yearning for permission to hibernate and dream.

I pause and I listen.

Hush hush quiet now…

We have arrived

To where the river whispers her secret messages

Coldest of waters, almost frozen, still trickling beneath layers of ice…

with a voice like a grandmother…

carrying the ancient wisdom of the white season

for those who can slow down enough to hear…

Posted in Earth Honoring, Poetry and Art, Spiritual Connection, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Turning Inspiration into Action (with Julia Butterfly Hill and Daryl Hannah)

Posted on September 5, 2013 by Jo delAmor

Do you ever get all fired up after listening to an inspirational TED talk or watching a documentary about this pivotal time we’re living in? Do you get passionate and inspired and feel the energy of change moving through you?

And then, in the face of your daily tasks, what happens to all that enthusiasm?

When I was at the Arise Festival this month, I had the opportunity to listen to two exceptionally dedicated environmental activists speak to the importance of turning our inspiration into action. Julia Butterfly Hill and Daryl Hannah shared their stories of how they came to be advocates for the Earth and what it takes to live as a stand for ecological sanity in these crazy times.Turning your inspiration into action can feel nearly impossible in this world of keeping up with the bills and just trying to get by. But in this time of unprecedented societal and environmental degradation it is exactly what is needed…from each and every one of us.

The Disease of Disconnection

In telling her story, Julia let us know that she doesn’t actually consider herself an activist…instead she sees herself as a holistic health practitioner. And this is because at the root of all the fracking and clear cutting, all the animal cruelty and social injustice, all the greed and manipulation of technology is the disease of disconnection that our society is built on. Our whole society relies on destroying what is important…destroying the very foundation of life.

She says, in order to create a world in which we can thrive we don’t need any more technology or innovation…we need more connection. We need to connect with what truly matters and dedicate ourselves to caring for it.

It’s this disconnection that allows our life support system to be traded for BiG gas and oil profits. While we go about our daily business, BiG gas and oil is working on expanding the tar sands to the size of Florida, pushing the XL pipeline through the center of this continent and opening up more fracking operations across the country (even on the San Andreas fault line in CA…crazy!!). These endeavors, combined with the endless list of others like them, have us perched on the brink of total systems collapse…lots of financial profit for BiG gas and oil = uninhabitable planet…that’s a major disconnect.

Needless to say, it’s time to take action! And here are some simple pieces of advice that Julia and Daryl shared from their own experience of stepping into action and taking up a role in turning this ship around…

Get over yourself, your fears and your addiction to comfort.

They reminded us that we’re all addicted to comfort and that most of us just want to go on with our simple little lives, without rocking the boat. But the problem is that the boat is going down. None of us have the luxury of playing it safe anymore or standing by while someone else does the work…we’re all needed.

In accounting her story of selling all of her possessions, leaving her corporate career behind and taking up residence on a 4×8 platform 18 stories up a redwood tree for over 2 years to protest the clear cutting of this ancient forest, Julia reminded us that the butterfly only becomes a butterfly through the process of liquification…leaving behind all comfort. She says “We have to let our hearts break open and give ourselves fully to this healing.”

Constantly align your lifestyle with your beliefs and values.

When Daryl was asked about her life as an earth advocate and activist she reflected that it’s a constant work in progress. She said that it requires her to continually refine and align her life choices in relation to her values.

This process can start anywhere. As someone who cares for the future of our world you can start right now by getting honest about which parts of your lifestyle are in alignment with your values and which ones you’re ready to bring into alignment.

Collaborate and connect with others who are doing the work.

Several times during the conversation, Julia reminded us all that the changes we need to see are going to come from collaboration. She encouraged us to get involved by connecting with others who are already doing the work to support them or collaborate with them.

They told a story of their recent action to protest the Keystone XL pipeline where Daryl positioned herself to get arrested with the 78 year old women who owned the land that TransCanada was trespassing on. Julia wasn’t in a position to get arrested at the time so they decided that Daryl would make the stand and Julia would do the ‘behind the scenes’ work to make sure the press was notified. It’s not all about these direct action protests and getting arrested but the point is that there are always multiple roles to be played and there’s always a way for you to offer your support.

Stay alert to what’s calling you and offer it with fierce love and dedication.

When Daryl was asked which issues she thought were the biggest priorities at this time she said… “it’s all one song,” meaning it’s all the same issue and that all the different facets are essential for us to face.

She said that we’ll all be called to serve different parts of this healing process and that all we have to do is follow that calling with fierce love and dedication. They reminded us to look for the clues and miracles in the mundane moments of our lives…to stay alert to what matters to us and to how we are called to serve it.

Taking Action

Hearing their stories and getting to feel their power and commitment to the healing of the Earth lit me up with inspiration. The abundance of uplifting music at the festival and the power of presentations like this had me flying high on the possibilities for the great transformation we are entering into…on the hope that we can restore what has been damaged.

Now…to make that inspiration really worth something I’ve gotta turn it into action.

Turning the inspiration into action in our every day life can be challenging. It means we have to confront the inertia of the status quo…the heavy pull of habits and distractions…of procrastination and limiting beliefs. To take empowered action in our lives we need a real boost of energy and a focused intent.

That’s why I’m gathering a group of passionate, inspired people like you together this fall. For 28 days, full moon to full moon, we’ll be focusing our intent together and generating the energetic boost we all need to overcome our blocks and barriers to taking action. (learn more at the link below)

Join in on the fun with Activate Your Personal Power!

Register before September 17, 2013 to take part in this powerful group experience

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Personal Transformation, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Arise…ing

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Jo delAmor

Arise…ing

in a whole new way…

pivotal moments opening doors of being.living.perceiving

with greater capacities of wow and now…of hope and faith…

of the YESness that feeds the starlight fire of sovereign beings

intimately interwoven in the miraculous web of magical life.

Arising……..

Lifting our hearts and songs and dance UP to the Great Mysterious Source

as an offering of beauty and thanks giving.

Growing beyond the limitations of our comforts and fears…

stepping out of the box of our personal preferences and petty desires…

breaking free from the confines of the media induced stupor

that has held us to mindlessly climbing ladders of accumulation…

so we can pour our lives down and into the Great Mother

as an offering of love and nourishment…

feeding Her with our respect and reverence…

Nursing Her back to health and thrivation

by learning to listen to Her once again.

Posted in Cultural Transformation, Poetry and Art, Relating with Others, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

knows not the language

Posted on August 12, 2013 by Jo delAmor

the mountain grasses and wild flowers are a buzz with life this morning

a whole universe at play amongst the tiny flying ones
swarming and buzzing and fluttering in their own unique dimension
pollinating the matrix of life and who knows what else

busy and thriving, dive bombing flowers

and barreling through the grass seed
making music with their tiny super-speed wings
each a different tone, vibrating in a strange harmony

sitting still here in the field like a stone within the rushing river
i let them gather and swarm around my face
they land and take tiny strolls across the crest of my cheek,
around the curve of my ear, tickling me with their dainty feet

they take off, buzz around and come back for another turn
are they studying me?

this strange large warm being
not a flower or a tree
not an elk or a rabbit
one who hasn’t been here before
and knows not the language of this place